9 Comments
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Mark Dykeman's avatar

Good twist at the end... feels like there are more stories to tell.

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Nathan Schuetz's avatar

This gets really good descriptive and world-building mileage for something so concise. Well done

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Alicia Kenworthy's avatar

Also love the twist at the end here. Optimize, optimize, optimize... and for what, really?

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Zack Grafman's avatar

Loved this, would definitely read more in this setting!

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Vanechka's avatar

Very immersive worldbuilding, nice details and descriptions, good job! I liked it.

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Oleg's avatar

Thanks Vanya!

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Great twist. I like retro feel too: punch cards. Seems wonderfully incongruous in a sf setting.

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Fabrina👾Glitchlace's avatar

Dystopian, love it!

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Oleg's avatar

Thank you! You might also like the other piece I published here - https://fictitious.substack.com/p/no-duplicates-a-short-story

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